if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
it was like eating out sand paper
I am midnight drunk by noon
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
