just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
