Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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