I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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