Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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