Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
