i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
