i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
it was like eating out sand paper
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
