You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
