Best friends brother. Beat that.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
