He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
