Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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