ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
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