I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Your penis caused this!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
