Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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