Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
