so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
