i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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