how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize