I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
