I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
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we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
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GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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