Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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