Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
