So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
