White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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