you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
