just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
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I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
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Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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