they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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