no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
