You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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