you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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