I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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