can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
