This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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