He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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