he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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