i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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