someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
