Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
