I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
