I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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