so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
People in love make me want to vomit
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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