he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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