I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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