in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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