Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
