singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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