I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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