I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
