I molested 6 butterflies tonight
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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