idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize