Non-Jews are for practice
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
