i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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