What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You pole danced in your parka.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
