omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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