i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
