also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
