Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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