guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
