that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
