You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
