Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
