Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
All the doctor said was why
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
